Posted Fri Nov 27, 2015 | 262 Words | Tagged story

Thanks for calling the LAD line. We’ll get you to the next available operator as soon as possible.

“Alright cunt, I’m fuckin Jason. I’ll be fuckin sortin you out tonite mate”

Then my phone buzzed as I looked at it. The front facing camera had started by itself somehow. I don’t even know how it did that, all I did was call the guy’s number I had got yesterday in the club.

He did look quite nice, and strangely something in his face looked similar to the guy I was with last night. Must have been pot luck.

He was just telling me how I looked like a cunt, he hated my long hair, my plaid t-shirt and my lack of a chain. But then he kept saying how I was looking well good. I looked down and I saw me Nike jacket. It was mine wasn’t it. I was wearing plaid… no, what the fuck.

These things appeared on me. I had a chunky chain. No, I had my fuckin chain. And my fuckin hair sorted itself out didn’t it.

Need a can or two after this like. My head was fuckin killing. Oh fucking hell, gotta fuckin get down to the shops hadn’t I? How the fuck have I got no fuckin cans in. I always fuckin did. Fuckin what was I on the phone about, been fuckin on hold for fuckin ever listenin to some weird shit.

LAD line appreciates your patience. Your application has been accepted, please turn up at ************** tomorrow at 8pm for your first shift.